When Anxiety Attacks
9 years ago
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Charlotte has been a thumb-sucker for most of her life. But now she is approaching 6 years of age, and we are determined to break this habit. The problem is that Charlotte has spent the vast majority of her life forming a certain way of coping with being tired, but this isn't the way that Sarah and I want her to be. We've tried a variety of different things to help her break this habit (e.g. putting socks over her hands and taping them in place as she falls asleep). However, nothing has worked as well as the regimen we just began... Tabasco Sauce... or as she and Liam call it Tobacco Sauce.
We have been putting this wonderful stuff on her thumbs the last few nights as she's fallen asleep, and it drives her nuts. In fact, she just told me, "This is the stupidest food in the world! Why would anybody eat this stupid stuff! Tobacco Sauce is gross!" So far it's working.
Here's the thing. I look at my daughter and I am realizing the power of habits. How we spend our time and order our lives sets down a pattern of life that is very difficult to break. As I look at my life I think of various habits that are my version of "thumb-sucking"... habits that I really need to break and replace with new ones. As I realize this I have to ask myself... what am I doing to make sure that I am forming the right sort of habits?
Recently I've been spending a bit of time studying spiritual disciplines... things like Scripture memorization, journaling, prayer, meditation, fasting, etc. These are things that will help me break negative habits that I have. They will also help me to rewire my mind and my life to build new habits more in accordance with God's desires. The more I spend time in prayer, talking to God... the more frequently I memorize Scripture... as I fast, training my body not to be ruled by needs and desires... I am training myself for dependence on God. And the thing is... I NEED that. I am definitely someone who struggles with maintaining a consistent relationship with God. And that only convinces me that I need to be breaking the lazy and negligent habits in my life, replacing them with those that will pull me closer to God. And hopefully God won't have to use Tabasco.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Today was a historic day! It will be interesting to see what God has in store for the next few years. And I cannot help but take a moment to make a few observations.
First, it speaks VOLUMES about our country that we have finally come to the point where we have our first black President-elect. MLK Jr's I Have A Dream speech comes to mind.
Second, there seems to be a disproportionate level of despondancy among some segments of American Christians and a disproportionate level of elation among other segments. In response, I would simply ask, "In what do we place our trust... a political office, or the gospel?" Just a question. (I would point out that when offered all the kingdoms of the earth Jesus declined. He seemed to think ultimate victory was not determined by political power but rather by the power of the gospel to transform hearts and lives. Additionally, I don't remember political office being listed in the armor of God. I also think I remember something in Corinthians about how the real war is not for political office, but against philosophical strongholds, arguments, and worldviews set up against the knowledge of God. I digress...)
Third, regardless of whether you are happy because "change is coming" or you're down because it's not the change you were hoping for, I would simply point out that the Bible seems to make it pretty clear that before the end things are going to get MUCH worse than they have been over the last eight years or will be in the next four years in America. With that in mind... no matter how bad it gets before the end, I simply encourage you to remember the message of Revelation... Ultimately... Jesus wins!
Anyway, I'll leave those of you who read this blog to either keep partying or to continue your mourning. Of course... maybe it's more important to continue our praying and sharing of the gospel.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
So Charlotte took her first watercolor class on Monday afternoon and this was her first work in that class. It is a field with a tree "like we have in Alaska" (a birch tree). It's night time so the moon is out (apparently she got the moon so round by placing a piece of tape over the paper, painting, and then removing the tape.) You can see mountains in the background, past the treeline. And there's a pumpkin in the left foreground. I must say that I truly am blown away by my 5 year old daughter's painting! Sarah sat in on the class, and apparently Charlotte painted this with little to no help. So aside from the fact that I'm a proud father braggin on his daughter, why am I posting this picture?
Sarah and I had a conversation a day or two ago about heaven. And in this conversation we were discussing what things may continue in heaven. As we were talking, I came to the realization that much of the beautiful, inspirational things we humans do are actually in response to sin and death, and would therefore not be practiced in heaven. For instance, the medic who dies while treating a wounded friend and sheltering him from enemy fire with his own body... the relief worker who works day and night tending to battered refugees... the firefighters heading up the Twin Towers to save those trapped inside... the parent who goes without to ease her child's hunger... any number of things... Really, think about it, what use will heroism be in heaven? Will we really still experience self-sacrifice? So many of the things that we find inspirational in the lives of people will cease to be experienced.
Some things will likely remain.
Art.
Music.
Exploration.
Learning.
Gardening.
Things that simply revel in the beauty of God and the creation He has made! And when I look at my daughter's painting I recall her insistance that she does not want to be an artist... she IS an artist! And she wants to "make the world a more beautiful place with my art." And I look at her art and I think about her commenting on the beauty of the sunset the other night, her desire to soak up every ounce of Creation her senses will allow, her hunger to learn and understand the way the world works, the song in her heart oozing out all day long in whistles, hums, and little dances, and I think of how she just loves to get her hands dirty nurturing the little bits of Creation around her, saving tadpoles and watering plants. And when I think of all this I am actually overcome with a sense of wonder and joy at the great glory of our God! And I cannot wait for the day when we finally see the Creator face to face, and there will be no more need for heroism or sacrifice, and I can simply enjoy these simple yet profound pleasures with my daughter, rejoicing in the glory of the Creator for all time! That will be a wonderful day!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
This past week Sarah and I met with a person from OCS. (For those of you familiar with my military background... no... I'm not referring to Officer Candidate School.) We wanted to find out about the Office of Children's Services' requirements and process for becoming state approved foster and adoptive parents. It's something that Sarah and I are seriously looking in to. "Why?!" you might ask. It's simple. The gospel. The fact of the matter is that adoption is one of the most powerful images Scripture uses for what happens when we are forgiven of our sins and become children of God. God takes us from a life of not belonging... of brokenness... of uncertainty... of not experiencing true love, and He brings us into His family. All of a sudden, our Father is the One who made us and we share the inheritance of the One who died for us! That is a beautiful thing! And I can think of no better way to tangibly demonstrate the good news of Jesus Christ to a watching world, particularly to a child who does not have a family to selflessly love him/her. So... that's why we'd gladly adopt.
Additionally, let's think about this for just a minute... There are hundreds, thousands of children out there who have no home and no family to love them. These kids are often the ones that people use to argue in favor of abortion. "After all," it's argued, "abortion is better than bringing a child into a life where they are unwanted or unloved by a family." So why is it that we christians often argue against abortion, but relatively few of us are actively taking in the very children we are arguing should not be aborted? Just a thought. What would it look like if we started doing this as a whole community of believers, like the early church did? One of the things the early church was KNOWN for was saving newborns who were unwanted and left out on refuse piles (the Roman version of abortion). They did this even though they were typically poor slaves themselves. Why is it that we, the most prosperous believers in the world, often say we don't have the time or resources to do the same?
Not every believer can adopt, but I suspect a whole lot more of us can than are. Sarah and I are just determined to get in on the spiritual battle raging around us in this particular arena if God will open that door for us. So, for what it's worth... if any of you who read this know of someone (pregnant teenage girl, a family with challenges they can't handle, etc.) who is looking for a home for a child, please let us know. We'd love to find out the details and see if we can help.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
So, why Ideas Have Consequences and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy?
Ideas Have Consequences, by Richard Weaver is probably one of the most insightful books I have read concerning the philosophy of relativism and truth. It's not an easy read, though at 187 pages it is not too long. Weaver makes you think if you're going to digest his book. He wrote the book in 1948, looked at the philosophical landscape around him, and foretold where our society would be headed in the generations to come. And the cool thing (and the sad thing) is that he was exactly right on with his predictions. He speaks about how morality will become more and more relative. Truth will be seen as subjective, changing from person to person. Words will cease to have the clear interpretation they once had. (A president questioning what "the meaning of word 'is' is," comes to mind.) And even personal property rights will give way to community authority "for the greater good of society". (Eminent Domain, anyone?) He goes on to talk about the cultural, societal, and moral impacts that this will likely have if followed to its logical conclusion. And the whole process is driven by us cutting the anchorlines of transcendental truth in the name of naturalism and the Enlightenment. He makes a strong and compelling case for a return to absolute truth and reality from a completely philosophical standpoint.
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien is, in my thinking, the greatest epic of fictional literature authored in recent times. It is a beautifully intricate world of panoramic proportions. (Although the movies did fairly well, they still don't compare to the books... as is often the case in such situations.) The themes of heroism, hope, self-sacrifice, honor, virtue, good & evil, courage, friendship, humility, and all the great virtues possible in the human constitution run throughout this trilogy in a multi-layered tapestry of language and imagery. Something that I love about Tolkien's story is that it gets horrific and seemingly hopeless right before the end and the dawning of hope. This is a story that truly captures the maxim, "It's always darkest just before the dawn." And when it is all said and done, one of the characters, Samwise Gamgee, sees a long-lost companion whom he had presumed dead and gone. Upon seeing him Sam asks, "Is everything sad now going to come untrue?" That is perhaps one of the most beautiful quotes in all of literature to me because it captures the hope of the gospel in its few words. Anyway, that's why I recommend reading this trilogy.
Again, feel free to click on the links to the left if you'd like to see a little more about these books. The link will take you to reviews and information for the books on Amazon.com.
Ideas Have Consequences, by Richard Weaver is probably one of the most insightful books I have read concerning the philosophy of relativism and truth. It's not an easy read, though at 187 pages it is not too long. Weaver makes you think if you're going to digest his book. He wrote the book in 1948, looked at the philosophical landscape around him, and foretold where our society would be headed in the generations to come. And the cool thing (and the sad thing) is that he was exactly right on with his predictions. He speaks about how morality will become more and more relative. Truth will be seen as subjective, changing from person to person. Words will cease to have the clear interpretation they once had. (A president questioning what "the meaning of word 'is' is," comes to mind.) And even personal property rights will give way to community authority "for the greater good of society". (Eminent Domain, anyone?) He goes on to talk about the cultural, societal, and moral impacts that this will likely have if followed to its logical conclusion. And the whole process is driven by us cutting the anchorlines of transcendental truth in the name of naturalism and the Enlightenment. He makes a strong and compelling case for a return to absolute truth and reality from a completely philosophical standpoint.
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien is, in my thinking, the greatest epic of fictional literature authored in recent times. It is a beautifully intricate world of panoramic proportions. (Although the movies did fairly well, they still don't compare to the books... as is often the case in such situations.) The themes of heroism, hope, self-sacrifice, honor, virtue, good & evil, courage, friendship, humility, and all the great virtues possible in the human constitution run throughout this trilogy in a multi-layered tapestry of language and imagery. Something that I love about Tolkien's story is that it gets horrific and seemingly hopeless right before the end and the dawning of hope. This is a story that truly captures the maxim, "It's always darkest just before the dawn." And when it is all said and done, one of the characters, Samwise Gamgee, sees a long-lost companion whom he had presumed dead and gone. Upon seeing him Sam asks, "Is everything sad now going to come untrue?" That is perhaps one of the most beautiful quotes in all of literature to me because it captures the hope of the gospel in its few words. Anyway, that's why I recommend reading this trilogy.
Again, feel free to click on the links to the left if you'd like to see a little more about these books. The link will take you to reviews and information for the books on Amazon.com.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I thought I'd take a moment and highlight why a couple of these titles in the list to the left made it onto a list of books I'd recommend. It's simple really... they rock! But maybe I should briefly explain why. So...
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A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson - This book is truly a wonder. It's definitely not a one-afternoon-sit-down-and-read book. Don't get me wrong, it's very readable and accessible to the common person. However, seeing as how it's "a short history of nearly everything" it's bound to take a little time. The thing is that it doesn't focus so much on human history as it does the history of the universe. Bryson does an amazing job of bringing truly awe-inspiring aspects of Creation to life. And he documents the fascinating twists and turns of discovery that led us to the understanding we currently have of the universe.... natural laws, atoms, stars, the vastness of space, the make-up of our planet. I enjoyed science in school, but it was definitely not my favorite subject. If this had been one of my science textbooks, however, I seriously would have been tempted to pursue science as a career. Bryson makes the wonder of the world God made come alive.
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Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper - This book possibly is a one-afternoon-sit-down-and-read sort of book, but... it lit a fire under me to consistently question, "For what ultimate purpose am I living my life?" Piper prompts a self-evaluation of life and how we spend it. So often we choose to pursue good things our whole lives, but they aren't the best things that will last eternally. And when we finally come to the end of our lives, what do we have to show for it?! Because of that, Piper challenges the reader to consiously question how his life is spent. It's also part of the reason that Sarah and I have chosen our particular default career alternative. If there comes a point where God tells us that He no longer requires us to be where we are, doing what we're doing, we're getting outta here and going overseas. In fact, our default is to move to somewhere in the Muslim world to work among Islamic peoples who do not yet know the glory, majesty, and mystery of Jesus Messiah. (Don't worry, all you grandparents out there. We aren't taking the grandkids away yet.) Sarah and I feel pretty sure God has us where we're at for quite some time to come. But this is something Sarah and I periodically come back and ask, "God, do You want us still doing what we're doing, where we're doing it?"
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Anyway, those are the first two books on the list, and that's why I put them there. If you want further reviews or want to buy them cheaply online, just click on the links to the left. They'll take you to the specific listings on Amazon. (Order $25 or more of books and get free shipping... I like it! ... alot!)
Saturday, October 4, 2008
My wife has been in Texas for the last several days at a convention. She’ll be getting home tomorrow evening, and I must say that I really can’t wait. It sounds silly to me as I read over those words because that is such an understatement. It’s been good to have a ton of daddy-kid time this past week, but I definitely ache to have my best friend back. I’ve been thinking about her and a couple of verses keep coming to mind. I think about how Scripture says that a husband and wife become one when they are married. I definitely sense that at times like these. Life just isn’t quite as bright and exhilarating as it is with her. She truly has become my other half. I also think of how Scripture says that creation waits and groans in anticipation of redemption and relief from the curse of sin. It anticipates and hungers for the day that it will no longer be separated from experiencing the full glory of its Creator because of Man’s sin. My desire to see my best friend again makes me wonder what it must be like for creation to be awaiting relief from sin. And I can’t help but ask myself, “Do I have this same longing and wish to see my Savior face to face?” Sometimes I think so, but to tell you the truth, all too often I get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the world around me and forget. Tonight I’m just praying that God will remind me of what it means to fervently desire the return of Christ with the anticipation of a spouse awaiting a reunion with his best friend.
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